Today I am having one of those moments where I am just wondering how I ended up here. I love my Fiancé and I love my kids. They are my entire world. How did we end up not living in our own home? I have no space for my things…. I cant work on my resin art like I want to because I dont have a work space. I do not blame anyone and I AM grateful for what I do have. I think its time to make some changes…. For me and for my family. I NEED to make changes. Wish me luck!!

So today Im feeling exhausted. Mentally…. Physically…. everywhere in between….. it really really sucks. Any words of encouragement would be appreciated.

Hey everyone!

I haven’t really had a whole lot of time to write lately and I am sorry. I got a part time job, and I am still a full time momma. Life isn’t always perfect, but you make the best with what you have. I forgot what it was like to go to a job everyday. At first my anxiety was SOOOOO bad…. but day by day it gets easier and easier and I am learning new skills. I hope you all are having a great Thursday. Comment and tell me how life is going for you????? I am here to listen, and to vent. =)

Whats the definition of failure? Is it trying your best but always falling short? Is it giving up on your dreams and settling for something you hate? Do you fail if you make mistakes? Tell me in the comments what failure means to you and why.

Today I have a doctors appointment at 3pm. Its basically a follow up appointment from when I was sick… and to discuss any… current issues 🙃🤪 You know what I hate the most about leaving my house? Socks. Yep. I hate putting socks on! Maybe Im a country girl at heart because I could go barefoot all day and be fine with that lol! I hope whoever reads this has an awesome day! Please try to breathe and enjoy the small things. ❤

I had to watch my man make the most delicious looking cheesecake last night and see it sitting in the fridge this morning….. all for him to TAKE IT TO WORK for a co workers birthday….. hm….. now im sad… lol.

Not everyone can have good days all the time. Guess what? That’s OKAY. Some days I just want to scream at the top of my lungs until I have nothing left to scream about. You shouldn’t feel ashamed just because you are struggling. I have really bad anxiety BUT, today is a NEW day and I am hopeful that it will be a great day. ❤

~ Find something that makes you happy and just do it.

Sleep….. I’m so tired. Goodnight everyone, I hope tomorrow will be an awesome day. I am slowly starting to realize that any situation can be better if you choose to see the positives and not the negatives. I’m positive i’ll gain 5 pounds tomorrow. Haha jk! Bye bye now!

The new year started off pretty rocky. My twin girls went to their dads for Christmas break and ended up coming home with covid. They basically ended up giving it to everyone in the house, despite my best efforts to clean and sanitize constantly. Believe me when I say that I really did try my hardest to keep germs to a minimum. Later that week I tested positive along with everyone else in the house. The first couple of days of covid weren’t that bad…. aches and pains…. messed up nose…. but as the days went on I felt worse. I started to feel congested and developed a fever. I also lost my smell and taste…. sure I couldn’t smell the nasties coming from the bathroom, but I also couldn’t taste any of the foods i enjoyed. I didn’t even really have the energy to eat. On January the 18th, I noticed that my oxygen was dropping to the 80s…. NOT GOOD. I went to the ER. After 9 hours of waiting, I finally got admitted into a room. After 2 days they sent me home with no oxygen. over night i was dropping into the 70s. That next morning, I ended up BACK in the ER when i was poked and prodded with IVs again…. and put back on oxygen. I had to wait another 10 hours to be admitted again…. this time staying about 5 days. I hate complaining because I know so many people with covid had it sooo much worse than I did, but that doesn’t mean my experience was good because it wasn’t. At one pointed i started bleeding through my clothes and called for a nurse, I was crying and upset but it took them over an hour to come help me. One of my veins even got blown from the IV. its been over 2 weeks since I have been home and my hand still hurts. I still have covid brain fog…. BUT I am off the oxygen and doing much better. Food still tastes odd but slowly getting my taste back. My twins will be teenagers this year so you can imagine what I am going through there and my 4 year old is wild and loud like her daddy. lol. I love them all so much though. I missed them when i was in the hospital. Well, I think thats it for now… Will try to keep posting.